can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
