Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
