You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize