Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
