The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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