the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
