well you can't waste a boner
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize