Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
