Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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