Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
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