I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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