I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
