Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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