I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
