either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
