it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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