You really coming over, don't trick.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
