I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
