No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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