Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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