yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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