but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
