dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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