belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
