WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
