We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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