gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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