WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
