I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
