i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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