WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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