they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
