were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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