would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
don't judge my taste in strippers
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
