Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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