He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
