That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize