Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
