i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
