Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
