I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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