is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
