my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
