Kareoke will never be a sober sport
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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