Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
