there's paper in my vomit.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
