you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
