After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Someone shattered a urinal.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
