i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it's great music for shaving your balls
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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