i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
