so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
