So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Randomize
