2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
