needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You're like the curious george of whores
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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