Yo dont text me then not text me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
