bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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