I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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