was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
