dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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