i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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