I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
