dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
